Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
