Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
