It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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