I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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