ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
