I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize