mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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