i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
