Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
