If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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