The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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