I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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