oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
