I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
