I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
