Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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