I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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