dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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