Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
