ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
