We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
