We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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