she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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