I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
