she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
