She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize