I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
