1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
