The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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