i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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