Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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