is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize