In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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