I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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