she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
