i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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