he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
