i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
