My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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