I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I love having hate sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
