you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
