Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize