Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
