well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
