Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
