Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
