i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
