you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
