I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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