if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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