My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
