I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
