OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
