I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
