can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am naked and annoyed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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