Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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