Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
