shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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