Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
