1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
