now i know why i became what i already was.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
